Some fathers-to-be wonder exactly what a doula's role is, and how her presence at the birth will affect him. A father may be concerned that his partner doesn’t trust him enough to be her sole support during labor. He may also worry that a doula’s presence at the birth will remove the intimacy of the moment.
Rest assured; a doula can never replace the father, who is there to love and support his partner. As far as the doula interfering with the intimacy of the moment, the doula is only one member of the birth team, which includes nurses, a doctor or midwife, and sometimes other specialists. In fact, a doula can help protect intimacy by requesting privacy, so the mom and dad can be alone for awhile.
A doula is there to help the father, as much as she helps the mother. The fact of the matter is, our society places a great deal of pressure and responsibility on the father-to-be during labor. A childbirth class may not be enough to prepare a new dad to support his wife through what may be one of the most challenging times in her life. It’s important that the father participate in selecting and hiring the doula, since both parents should feel comfortable with the person they choose to share this special moment in their lives. Before the birth, the mother and father will also want to describe their vision of the birth so that the doula can help facilitate that experience.